Happiness and the “If Only” Syndrome

February 22, 2016

Happy confused babyI’ve written before about how the purpose of life is to have joy and that happiness can be gained in a variety of ways, especially with expressing gratitude. Since we’re all looking for happiness, it’s normal to associate happiness with particular people, places, events, foods, etc. This can sometimes be helpful. When we start to lose our way on the path to joy, they can be an anchor – something we can return to that reminds us of happier times, thus enabling us to re-experience that feeling of happiness. Sometimes however, these associations can be destructive. Perhaps the most common of these are sweet foods. People frequently get into a cycle where they eat to feel happy (comfort foods), but then they gain weight. When they see the weight gain, it causes a degree of sadness and disappointment. So where do they go for comfort? Sweet, fatty foods. Then they get into that downward spiral. I knew another guy who was a clean freak. He would spend so much time cleaning that he would often fall short on other important responsibilities. That would make him feel guilty. How did he deal with the feelings of guilt? Clean some more.

Situations where we frequently and easily return to things that make us feel happy can be destructive, or at least hold us back in life. However, there are often sources of happiness that are not easily attained, which can be just as destructive, if not more so. This is the “if only” syndrome. “If only I could lose weight, I’d feel more attractive, which would make me happier.” “If only I had more money, I would be really happy.” There are two varieties of “if only’s”. One is trying to return to a condition that you used to enjoy. This could be your childhood – a time when you felt safe and secure (if you were fortunate enough to have a wonderful childhood), when you had no debt, no marital issues, etc. It could be a great vacation you had but conditions won’t allow you to do it again at this time in your life. Perhaps it was a time when you were thinner, or had more money, or had a job you really loved, etc. In that situation, you can get stuck in the past. You’re not moving forward because you keep looking back.

The other “if only” is where you’re stuck wishing for a condition that you’ve never experienced. “If only I’d been born into a rich family.” “If only I was married to this other person.” “If only I’d been taller, or thinner, or smarter, or better looking, or more talented, or had the opportunity for better education, etc.” If only, if only, if only. Sometimes people keep wishing for a better condition, and then one day they finally accomplish their dream, only to find that they had their ladder leaning up against the wrong wall, as it were. I’ve known of some people who worked hard to become rich and famous, but then when they reached that point, they found that it did not provide the happiness that they thought it would. Some of these even resulted in suicide. That’s not to say that dreams don’t come true and that those dreams don’t turn out to be everything you hoped for and more. (I’m really not trying to pessimistic here.) Sometimes we can accomplish these “if only’s” and sometimes we can’t. I think that hopes and dreams can be great, as long we don’t lose touch with the opportunities of the present.

I work with a lot of people who get stuck in an “if only” situation. However, since I deal with so many people, I see many contradictions. I see people who are depressed and frustrated because they’re having a hard time losing weight. And yet, I see lots of thin people who are frustrated and depressed. I see people who are really struggling with financial problems. And yet, having money doesn’t prevent all problems. There are rich people who are miserable too, although having money does give you more and better choices. (I actually don’t see this too often. Most people who are successful have already overcome the if-only syndrome.)

Whether we’re linking our happiness to the past or the future, it’s a very risky and frustrating situation. Happiness is a choice. As I talk about in my Emotion Code class, no one can make you happy, sad, angry or anything else. Other people can provide input, but it’s your reaction to it that determines your emotion. There is very little joy except in the present. Even happy memories can hold us back if we get stuck longing for them. Feeling joy in the moment can help us to break free from the if-only syndrome. Tools such as the Emotion Code and ho’oponopono can assist us in that. Happiness (joy) comes from the inside. I believe that it is a gift from God.

As I work with people, I look for trapped emotions that are holding people back — physically, emotionally or in their life’s goals. We can often make a significant difference in their lives as we clear out this excess baggage (whether we do it in the office or remotely). We align the spine to help the nervous system, we balance chakras, and clear up other imbalances that interfere with the full expression of health and happiness.

 

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Causes

January 25, 2016

Chicken vs eggChicken vs. egg – which comes first? Compared to many of life’s pressing questions, that one seems easy. As I’ve studied cause and effect over the years, and as I’ve learned about principles of happiness, success, the law of attraction, etc., I’ve had to change many of my former paradigms. For instance, I’ve always thought that if I could be “successful”, I would then be happier. Now, I’m finding that success is often the result of happiness, not the cause of it. Another one – if I could solve my most pressing problems, I would be at peace. That’s logical, isn’t it? And yet, it appears that the best condition for finding answers to your problems is to be at peace. When you can take a deep breath, have faith, believing an answer will come, and accept the situation for what it is, you allow that peace to come into your mind, which allows inspiration to flow and answers to come. It doesn’t always come right away or like a brick upside the head. It often comes, softly and subtly. That’s how inspiration works.

I’ve written before about the complexity of the mind, body and spirit. We often want so very much to find a simple solution to a complex problem. The fact is that there are often multiple causes all interwoven together. As I work with people, sometimes I get nearly miraculous results. After just a light to moderate amount of treatment, a problem that they’ve been working on correcting for many years (physical, emotional, life problem, etc.) will suddenly disappear! I believe that in many of those cases, what I’ve done is to provide the last essential piece of the puzzle (which might be a big one) that got them over that final hurdle. Most of the results I get with people range somewhere between minimal and miraculous. Where my results seem to be on the minimal side, in spite of a lot of clearing, releasing and correcting, I believe that I just haven’t done enough yet to clear that hurdle where a major difference would be felt by the patient.

In cases where I don’t seem to be making much progress, especially when I confirmed every correction through my muscle testing, did I fail? Were my efforts wasted? Think about things in your own life, where you’ve worked hard to accomplish something but did not get the desired results. Were all of your efforts wasted? Did you learn from them? Did they make you smarter, stronger, wiser? Chances are that they did. When my results have been less than spectacular, I’ve had to remind myself (and sometimes the patient) that everything we accomplished was good. We made positive changes, even when it wasn’t enough to accomplish the goal they had in mind. I was reminded of this principle in a video I saw lately about how bamboo grows. For the first 5 years, you water it, fertilize it and care for it, but you don’t see anything happening. Then suddenly, it starts growing like crazy. It can get to be 60 feet tall in a matter of weeks. In reality, it was growing all that time – under the ground. It creates a thick, complex root system so it can support the tall trunk once it starts growing above ground. If you didn’t understand this, you would most likely give up watering it and caring for it after the first year or two.

What do you do if you’re not sure your bamboo tree is doing anything, so your efforts aren’t entirely being wasted? It’s probably not going to help it grow to dig it up and check on it every few months. You’d probably kill it! So what about other things in our life? How often have we given up just short of accomplishing our goals? Or how many times have we actually been accomplishing a great deal, even when we weren’t seeing the fruits of our labors, at least not the ones pertaining to our desired goals? May I suggest the following?

  • Be at peace with the journey. Positive efforts are never wasted. Either they’re bringing you closer to your goal or you’re at least gaining wisdom and experience that will help you in other endeavors.
  • Be loving, not judgmental, toward yourself. Do your best, but then forgive yourself when you don’t accomplish things just as you would like. Then extend that same loving, forgiving attitude toward those around you, which will bring you greater peace and happiness.
  • Don’t be overly attached to every little outcome. Keep in mind that the purpose of life is to experience joy. Sometimes we don’t see the bigger picture. I’m not suggesting a lazy, “whatever” life devoid of goals or effort. I believe in working hard. However, I’ve learned that it’s important to first accept what is (as opposed to throwing inner tantrums hoping that it will magically change our current circumstances), and then with calm inspiration, work toward achieving and accepting that which we would prefer.
  • Be open to causes and effects that you may not have considered previously. Sometimes we fail to find the answers for which we seek because we have blinded ourselves to them, simply because they don’t fit into the reality that we understand or have been taught.
  • Understand that feelings of love, forgiveness, peace of heart and mind, and faith will attract more good things into your life than huge amounts of stressful work with the wrong attitude. The Emotion Code, tapping, ho’oponono, and other techniques can help to clear out the barriers to clear and peaceful thought.

I wish you joy and happiness in your life – not that everything will go smoothly without any challenges or difficulties (you’d stagnate and never reach your potential in life!), but that you will make the decision to accept joy into your life and align yourself with its principles.

Courage and Fear

September 11, 2015

CourageFearWe are told to not be afraid and to have faith –“doubt not, fear not”. Indeed, doubt and fear are the two most powerful forces that hold us back in life. For some, they can be completely crippling. For others, they simply hold us back from achieving our full potential in life.

I’ve often wondered about these admonishments. How can you tell someone to not have fear or doubt? How can you respond? “Okay, I won’t have any more fear and I’ll have complete faith.” Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that easy? It’s not though, is it? I believe that what these are really saying though is that we should not allow these to get in our way. We can start to eliminate doubt and fear by exercising faith and courage.

Herein lays the crux of the matter. I believe that many of us don’t have a true understanding of what faith and courage really mean. When we feel fear, we wish we had more courage so that we would not be afraid. We then allow that to stop us from doing what should or needs to be done. We know that we could accomplish great things if only we had more faith, but we allow our doubts to hold us back. However, that demonstrates somewhat of a misunderstanding of what faith and courage are. These are action words, not simply a state of mind. Let me explain.

We often think that if we have fear, it means that we lack courage. That lack of courage then becomes a stumbling block. “I can’t do that because I’m afraid.” I maintain that where there is no fear, there can be no courage. Here is an example. Suppose you had to walk across a mine field (active explosives hidden in the ground). If you didn’t know it was a mine field, would it take courage to traverse it? Of course not. Suppose you had a death wish or you were so confident that you could avoid the mines that you didn’t feel any fear. A death wish or overconfidence certainly shouldn’t be confused with courage. The only time that it would require courage to walk across that mine field is if you knew that it was a mine field and you feared death and dismemberment. Courage is not the lack of fear. Courage is acting in spite of your fear. Courage is to be afraid of doing something but doing it anyway.

Does it take courage to drive a car? For most of us, it is not a great act of courage to get in our car and drive somewhere. When you first started to learning to drive, it did take courage, because it was a scary thing to do. If you’ve been in a serious accident or had a loved one killed in a car accident, it can take great courage to drive a car, because now there is fear. Does it take courage to mow your lawn? For most people, it’s no big deal. For me, it was never a fearful thing. But a number of years ago, I had a serious accident mowing the lawn. For a while after that, I had to hire others to mow my lawn. I remember the first time I mowed the lawn after my accident. I was practically trembling. But I pushed through the fear. I exercised courage by mowing it anyway. Each time thereafter, it got easier. Now it doesn’t bother me a great deal, although a small amount of fear remains.

What about faith? Is it the absence of doubt? If you know something for certain, there is no need for faith. Faith is the action of moving forward with something in spite of not knowing for sure what will happen.

So if you feel fear or doubt, don’t think that you lack courage or faith. Act on what you know. Do what you can do. Courage and faith are action words. Practice doing them. Start small if you must. Do what you’re afraid to do and you will be building and exercising courage. This will bring you strength of character and help you to achieve a great deal more in life.

Another thing you can do is to remove some of the emotional baggage that is getting in your way. An effective means to accomplish this is with The Emotion Code.

Need and Abundance

August 23, 2015

(Please note: this posting has somewhat of a religious flavor to it, for which I do not apologize. I am a religious person, but this message is not about religion. If you don’t believe in God as I do, feel free to insert the word “universe” or “the universe” wherever you see the word “God”.)

lackOne of the things that has held me back for much of my life was a common, yet devastating, misconception. That is, that the things you need the most will be the things most likely to be provided to you. I believe in a kind and loving God. I believe in fairness. So I frequently operated under the delusion that if I needed something very badly and prayed for it really hard, it would be provided in ample quantity. That is how a lot of good people see it. If you really, really need something, and you’ve done what you can to deserve it, and you ask God to bless you with it, chances are you’ll get it. Right? If you don’t truly need it, he’s less likely to bless you with it. That’s fair, isn’t it?

So it would stand to reason that God would bless the poor with greater abundance and withhold some of his blessings from the rich. And yet, look around, is that what you see happening? Often times, don’t we see the poor getting poorer and the rich getting richer? That hardly seems fair, but when you consider the laws of attraction, it actually makes sense. What people don’t understand is the importance of faith, or even what faith is. The scriptures repeatedly talk about the fact that prayer without faith is not effective. God is not a conservative God with only a limited number of blessings and abundance to impart. Is God limited? Does he not have access to everything in the universe?

I believe in a God of abundance. He has limitless blessings to impart to those who are prepared to receive them. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in this life (one that I’m still trying to master) is that being in a place of NEED actually pushes away the abundance that I would have received if I had more faith. If you ask for something with full faith that you’ll receive it, it feels like you’ve already received it. To be in a place of need and desperation while you’re asking for something, you’re sending out the message saying that you really don’t think you’ll get it. Isn’t that the opposite of faith? If you have a need or a desire that you pray about and you have a firm mindset that it will be granted to you, then that feeling of almost having it sets aside any feelings of need or desperation, thus putting you in the right vibration and state of mind to receive it. I believe that’s the unwavering faith that the scriptures tell us is a prerequisite to obtaining blessings that we’re seeking for.

If you haven’t grown up with that kind of thinking, it can be a difficult transition to make. Even if you see the logic in it, it can be a challenge to apply it when the waters of your life become horribly turbulent and it feels like everything is falling apart. Yet with practice and focusing on correct principles, it can become a part of your life. It can feel like you’re just now planting a garden when you’re already starving to death. Too little, too late to save you from your current catastrophes. And yet, it’s necessary to start the process so that your life doesn’t continue to be a never-ending string of disasters. You may have to start small, but every step that you take in the right direction will help get you out of the hole you’ve dug for yourself.

So how do you get started? Here are some key things that you can start doing now to turn around your thinking and put you in the proper state to receive abundance and joy:

  • Exercise gratitude. Look for things to be grateful for, no matter how small. Think twice as many thoughts of gratitude as you do about things that you lack or are difficult. (Eventually you’ll want to get to the point of never thinking in terms of lack.) Gratitude is the key to joy and attracts abundance.
  • See abundance. Focus on the abundance of the universe and the multitude of blessings that are awaiting you. Avoid the temptation to focus on the lack.
  • Think in terms of what you hope to get, not how terrible things are without them. Feel the feelings of already having the things you want. Focus on the solution, not the problem.

If you work on making these things a regular part of your life and the way that you think, you will see positive changes in your life. They take practice, and sometimes they take time. Remember that you can’t harvest a garden this afternoon that you just planted this morning. Even still, it’s very important that you think in terms of having the blessings now, not in the future. Otherwise, it will stay in the future and always out of reach. Think in terms of the blessing being on its way to you right now. You may not know exactly when it will arrive, but it’s coming. So you can feel the joy and anticiabundancepation almost as if it were on your doorstep right now. There is only such a thing as now as far as the universe is concerned. We operate in a world of time though. So some patience is often required.

The purpose of life is to experience joy. Joy is not just feeling good or having fun. It comes from wisdom gained through experience, even harsh ones. It comes from gratitude – for all you’ve been given, even unpleasant experiences. It comes from a decision to be happy – as opposed to being a victim of whatever circumstances life hands you. It comes from loving and receiving love. It comes from seeing the universe as abundant and giving. Lastly, it comes from aligning your life with principles of joy and happiness.

Are You Blind?!

August 8, 2015

BlindnessDid you know that of the full EMF spectrum, we can only see about 2% of it? Depending on how it’s measured, it may even be less. The point is, visible light only represents a small portion of the electromagnetic waves that are out there. So what’s the difference between you and someone who is considered completely blind? Not much. It occurs to me that we’re all mostly blind since our eyes are unable to detect all but a small portion of what could be seen if we had the capacity to see all wavelengths.

The same goes for our other senses. Our ears can only pick up a small portion of the vibrations in the air. Touch, is at best, a very rough sense. Taste and smell – equally limited. Compare these senses to the majority of other mammals and you can see just how limited we are. But even then, compared to all the vibrations, frequencies, etc. that are out there, even the animals are not much better than us.

So then, where is the logic in someone saying that if they can’t detect something with their own senses, then it doesn’t exist? We’ve developed all kinds of instrumentation that can help us detect many things that our senses cannot. Did X-rays exist before they were discovered in 1895? Of course they did. Did gamma rays exist before they were first detected in 1900? Naturally! The list goes on. What else is out there that we do not now have the technology to detect effectively?

At the risk of offending some people, allow me to switch from the scientific to the spiritual. (If it does offend you in any way, please refer to some of my previous blogs about the limitations of science and how too many people treat science as if it were a religion.) In my practice as a Chiropractic Physician (yes, that’s my official title), I’ve always leaned away from the medical approach and more toward the original philosophies of chiropractic. I’ve always emphasized that chiropractic is not just a “therapy” to help back and neck pain. That was not the original purpose of chiropractic. The idea is that, as we remove interference in the nervous system by aligning the spine, the body is allowed to function better, resulting in improved health and quality of life. There are a number of techniques that are used to achieve that, but that’s the basic idea behind fundamental chiropractic.

In spite of my devotion to old-time chiropractic philosophy, I’ve been pretty conservative and what I considered to be scientifically-minded. Although I’ve been a chiropractor for over 30 years, I became converted to energy work just several years ago. I rely on muscle testing for a large portion of the work that I do (Emotion Code, Body Code, NAET, etc.). There’s also a great deal of intuition involved. This not only helps me in my muscle testing, but in helping me to know what questions to ask in my testing. The objective, scientific part of me is still not entirely confident in my intuition. However, I have found that the more I am aware of and follow my intuition, the more I’m able to help my patients.

The purpose of this post is not to make a statement about ESP, clairvoyance, or other mind powers. However, I will say that there are many things we can’t just dismiss. Might we have other senses, other than the five basic ones, that we’re not very aware of, which, if we learned to use them better, could be used as effectively as sight or hearing or any other sense? When you get a distinct “feeling” about something, it should not be ignored. As they say, sometimes you have to just “go with your gut”.

Living Joyfully without Complacency

April 7, 2015

complacencyThere’s a very fine, almost imperceptible line between being happy with what you have and being too complacent to strive for more, between being grateful for the blessings you’ve been given (without griping about what you don’t have) and being satisfied with where you are now with no goals for improving your situation. Yet the difference that it brings to your life from being in one state vs. the other is huge. It’s a matter of happiness and joy vs. misery and bitterness. It’s a matter of progression vs. stagnation, and attracting good into your life vs. not attracting good things into your life.

As I’ve studied principles of success and happiness, I’ve come to realize that gratitude is one of the biggest keys to happiness in life. It’s also an important factor in the law of attraction, in terms of attracting good things. It can be confusing at first. It seems almost contradictory to be told that if you want more of something, you should first be grateful for what you have. In order to progress, I’ve always thought that you first needed to be dissatisfied with your current circumstances. Dissatisfaction and gratitude don’t seem to go together. If you’re happy where you’re at, you might as well stay where you’re at. Right? If you’re miserable in your current situation, if you feel like you’ve gotten a raw deal, if life stinks, then you’re primed and ready for a change in a better direction. Right? The misery will motivate you to get off your tuckus and make a better life for yourself. Right? That’s pretty much what I’ve always been taught. However, that’s where I was getting messed up. I think it’s affecting a lot of other people also.

As I look back on my own life and witnessing the situations of others, I can’t recall ever seeing a situation where griping and complaining and feelings of bitterness actually led to an improvement in someone’s life. Generally, it assured that they would NOT progress. Why is that? Because they were not putting themselves into a state (frequency, vibration, attitude) in which they could attract and receive improved circumstances. Although they were wanting life to improve, sometimes desperately, their thoughts, words and emotions were in opposition to the improvement that they were wanting. (I know – I’ve been there.)

So, if you’re not griping and complaining about how life is, and you should be grateful for what you already have, isn’t that the same thing as complacency? Not necessarily. Perhaps you do have all that you desire, but the important thing here is the attitude. If you’re feeling complacent, is it due to the fact that you’ve achieved all you have ever wanted and now you just want to coast a bit, or is it because you’ve given up, because you don’t believe that your goals are reachable or you’re incapable of reaching them? Frankly, I believe that there are very few people who are both successful and complacent and are not on a downward slide. Complacency leads to laziness, which leads to failure.

How does one strike a proper balance between being happy and grateful for one’s current circumstances and healthy ambition? I try to look at the bigger picture. What I have encompasses what I’ve received in the past, what I am now receiving and what I will receive in the future (blessings with my name on them that are on their way, some of them years out). Every day, I express gratitude for all of these blessings. I am grateful for what I have achieved and what I will yet achieve. I strive to avoid dissatisfaction with my current situation. Rather, I appreciate the path that I’m on. There is great striving to accomplish more and greater things and to attract greater abundance in all aspects of my life. I know that I have to do my part to prepare for and receive the higher level of blessings that are intended for me.

Happiness cannot depend on some future outcome. Happiness is a choice. Choose it today and enjoy the journey!

Real Body Parts

October 17, 2014

robotWhen I was a teenager, I dislocated my patella (kneecap). It didn’t heal well. Later I had surgery on it (big mistake in this case!). That healed even worse, which led to more surgery. Each time, it had a harder time healing than the time before. Finally, we decided to leave well enough alone. Later in life, my knee degenerated, not from the initial injury but from the surgeries. My patella was scraping on my tibia. I reasoned that orthopedic surgery has come a long way in the last 30 years. Surely they know what they’re doing by now (at least better, which they do to a certain extent). So I agreed to a partial knee replacement. They basically replaced part of my patella and part of my tibia, the parts that rub together, with metal pieces lined with plastic. That was six years ago. Now my knee is starting to squeak like an old door hinge that needs WD-40. Something is breaking down or scar tissue is getting in the joint. They can’t tell without doing some arthroscopic surgery.

Why am I relating this sad tale? I’m not looking for sympathy, but there are a couple of points I want to make. First, this whole fiasco with my knee is what led me to becoming a chiropractic physician. At one point, I was planning to become a medical doctor. But there was something about medicine’s general philosophy that was bothering me, which I couldn’t quite put into words. So I was looking around at alternatives. I looked into chiropractic and became a patient. I found that there were some issues in my low back, right where the nerves go to my knees. Part of the problem is a malformation, which cannot be fixed. So it wasn’t that I had found the answer to solve all my knee problems, but what it did was to open my eyes. I finally realized what was bothering me about the approach that had been applied to my knee problems. No one had ever even asked the question of WHY my knee wasn’t healing right in the first place! No one had looked for an underlying cause. Since there was a problem interfering with my knee’s ability to heal, how can any rational person expect it to heal better with repeated surgeries??? So I became a chiropractor and have devoted my life to looking for underlying reasons for health problems. It’s also the reason I have taken on other disciplines as well, such as the Body Code and the Emotion Code.

The other point I wanted to make is about artificial body parts. As mankind started developing functional artificial body parts, such as joints, hearts, etc. and simultaneously starting to develop basic robots, imagination took flight and we started dreaming of all kinds of superhuman body parts. When I was young, I watched the TV show “The Six-Million Dollar Man”, then later “The Bionic Woman”. Both of these shows portrayed people who had greatly superior abilities due to their artificial body parts. They were faster, stronger and almost invincible. In the Robin Williams movie, “Bicentennial Man”, he plays a robot that is virtually immortal. They had to change him just to make it so he could die.

The reality is that man has not been able to come close to what God has created. It really bothers me when people talk about the human body like it’s just barely functional. So just about anything modern medicine can do to it will surely help. Holistic health practitioners recognize that the body is an absolutely wonderful thing. Our primary goal is to remove interference and let the body function as it was intended. With my knee and its artificial parts, we are unable to use those natural methods to correct complications that I’m having with the partial knee replacement. In fact, my orthopedic surgeon told me to not even exercise it since that will cause it to break down even faster. With our God-given body parts, the body is equipped to handle natural stresses on the tissues. It’s in a constant state of repair and replacement.

So don’t be in a hurry to allow technology to replace what God has given you. There are certainly times when there is no other way, when the body’s natural processes have become completely overcome and technology is the only answer. But whenever possible, seek out natural forms of healing that work with the body rather than trying to replace the body’s functions or anatomy.

Tribute to Robin Williams

August 12, 2014

Robin WilliamsIt was announced yesterday that the great comedian and actor, Robin Williams, was found dead of an apparent suicide. His wife issued a statement saying that he was suffering from severe depression. I understand that he had a history of depression, alcoholism and drug abuse.

I have been very sad since hearing about Mr. Williams’ death. I’ve loved his movies and shows. I’ve always been very impressed with his creativity and humor. He was bursting with talent. I don’t know about any of his religious or political views. At the moment, I don’t even care. All I know is that I loved him and am mourning his passing. As I look back on the years at all the things he’s done, starting with Mork & Mindy, I realize what a part he has played in my life and in the lives of my children. A talent such as his is very rare. He will definitely be missed.

Because I work with depression and other physical and emotional issues using the Emotion Code and Body Code, I’ve been thinking a lot about the depression that Robin Williams was dealing with. I don’t generally work with people who are on the verge of suicide or have significant mental illness, but I do work with people who are struggling with various issues in their life. As I’ve thought about Robin Williams, I’ve wondered what part did his depression, the issues he was struggling with, play in his genius. Was he so talented in spite of his emotional struggles or because of them? I’ve heard it said that you have to have suffered to become a truly great artist. Was his humor his coping mechanism? If he didn’t have the horrible emotional issues to deal with, would he have been so talented? Would he even have been so funny? Why was he able to bring so much joy to others when he found it so elusive for himself?

Our pain, our joy, our trials, our experiences – all these combine to make us who we are. What if Robin Williams didn’t have the pain and consequently didn’t have the degree of talent to be so hilariously funny and popular? The world would have lost out for sure. On the other hand, we wouldn’t have another victim of suicide. It’s impossible to know what would have happened, how Mr. Williams’ talent would have developed without the inner turmoil.

This all begs the question – what is going on inside of our minds that is shaping who we are? Would we have the skills, the talent, the compassion, and the understanding that we have now if it weren’t for our pain and trials? It’s hard to say. It’s just as easy to think about the wonderful things we could achieve if we weren’t held back by the baggage of our past traumas. I personally believe that it’s truly worth it to do all we can to overcome and release the negative effects of our past difficulties. That way we can maximize the joy in our life. We can still draw from the experiences of the past without continuing to feel their pain. After all, joy is the reason we exist.

Writing this blog entry is my way of dealing with the pain of losing this wonderful beacon of talent. I will remember the wonderful contributions that he’s made over the years. Thank you, Robin Williams!

Who Are You?

July 12, 2014

family2Who are you, really? Are you a unique individual? Of course you are. I believe that each of us is one-of-a-kind. There is not, nor has there ever been, anyone exactly like any one of us. Even identical twins are not entirely identical in their knowledge, their tastes, etc. And yet, we were not formed from nothing. We did not come into this life as a blank slate or an empty life form which then our parents, and later ourselves, created into the person we are today. Our DNA, our blueprint if you will, is a composite, or a unique combination, of attributes that have been passed along to us through our parents, which were passed along to them by their progenitors. This, of course, gives us our hair color, our eye color, our height, our bone structure, and so forth. But are our physical characteristics all that we inherited? I don’t think so.

Identity, that sense of who we are, is an essential characteristic for every one of us. Without a good grasp of that, we feel lost. I believe that it helps us to know how we got to where we are. We really need to take responsibility for what we make of our lives. A victim mentality is extremely non-productive and leads to stagnation and misery. So in reviewing this topic, it is not my purpose to give us excuses for not doing our best, and especially not to just give up and give in to our weaknesses. Some people say, “That’s just the way I am. Deal with it!” We all have free will and some control over what we make of ourselves. The information that I’m providing here should give you more of a sense of control over your life by helping you understand not only your physical roots, but your emotional heritage as well.

Any parent will tell you that their children did not come to them as a lump of clay that they could just mold into whatever they wanted them to become. Every child, as soon as they’re able to walk and talk and express themselves freely, demonstrates a unique personality that cannot be entirely attributed to the parent’s upbringing. Where does this come from? If the child seems to arrive on the scene with some pre-existing attributes, it should be clear that not every aspect of their personality came directly from their parents. The following are some possibilities for sources of our personality traits.

1 – Transgenerational epigenetic inheritance. That’s a fancy term for inheriting personality traits, emotions and perhaps even some memories from your parents and ancestors via your DNA. Epigenetics is an exciting branch of science that maintains that our genetic make-up can be altered by our diet, emotions, etc. I believe this is true. I don’t think our genetic blueprint is written in unalterable stone as once thought. So this term refers to imprinting onto genes, which then is passed along to the progeny. Could our parents’ knowledge and understanding of a particular subject make it easier for us to learn that subject? Possibly. I’ve read a couple of studies with mice that indicate that could be the case.

All of my children are adopted. We got both of my daughters straight from the hospital. Neither of them spent more than a day or two with their birth mothers. And yet both of them grew up to have some problems and weaknesses that were very similar to their respective birth mothers, even though they were in direct conflict to how we raised them. It’s the old “nature vs. nurture” question. To a certain extent, they were who they were, no matter how we raised them.

2 – Inherited emotions. I’ve talked about the Emotion Code in previous postings. That technique, along with other forms of energy work, tells us that trapped emotions can be passed along from parent to child at the point of conception. Trapped emotions are bits of energy that are acquired when an emotion has not been fully processed and released. This energy can be passed along with the sperm and the egg. In my work, I often find and release inherited trapped emotions. Trapped emotions can affect us both physically and emotionally. Since each emotion has its own frequency or vibration, they can affect how we feel, which in turn can affect our actions. So to a certain extent, inherited trapped emotions can help to shape who we are.

3 – Previous life. I believe that we lived as spirit children of God before coming into this mortal existence. Whether you believe in a pre-existence or reincarnation, it’s clear to many of us that we experienced a great deal before we came into our current physical state. Although we have no clear memory of this prior existence, it leaves its mark on us. I do sometimes find and release emotions that were trapped before this earth life, which were carried by our spirit into our physical body.

4 – Collective consciousness. There is a wide range of opinions and definitions of this. Some look at it simply as the norms and attitudes of society and how we are affected by them. This is certainly a factor in who we are. Some people see it as an actual shared consciousness; as if we’re not really individuals, especially after we die. That seems a little extreme to me. However, I do believe that “no man is an island”. I believe we’re all connected. I believe your thoughts and actions, in some small inexplicable way, have some affect on me and vice versa. I can’t prove it, I can’t really explain it and yet I sense that it’s true. I put it out there as food for thought. Like it or not, we are a part of each other. My oldest daughter is African-American, whereas I am Caucasian. As my adopted daughter, she has become part of me. Therefore, I am partly African-American. One time when she was a baby, we heard a young man making racial slurs against black people. My daughter wasn’t present and he didn’t know we had an African-American daughter. I felt great offense at his remarks. What was interesting though is that I didn’t feel defensive for my daughter’s sake, but I felt that he was offending me personally. As I thought about it later in light of how we’re all part of the human family of earth and how we’re all connected in some way, I realized that I’m also part Oriental, part Hispanic, and part everything else. You are a part of me and I am a part of you.

So as we consider our identity – who we really are inside, we realize that it is a conglomeration of our upbringing, our choices, what has happened to us, our relationships, what we inherited and picked up from others, and even choices we may have made before this life. Yet I still believe that we are not victims of all that, even though some of it may represent major hurdles in our life. We have the power to choose. Our thoughts, actions and emotions that we are experiencing right now will help to shape not only our life, but that of our descendents and those who are close to us.

The Gray Side of Health

June 20, 2014

stethoscope2When you’re young and idealistic, many things in life can seem pretty black and white. But as one gets older, you learn that there are so many nuances and variations that in some cases, issues become muddled gray. After being in practice for 30 years, you would think I would be very good at predicting outcomes and telling people how much treatment they will need and so forth. However, just the opposite has happened. I can tell people what is somewhat typical, but every person, every case is so unique that it’s impossible to predict much of anything accurately. One thing I love about doing energy work is that we’re able to do muscle testing on people to find out more specifically what they need.

Health itself is not black and white. I think it’s strange that many people think of themselves as either healthy or sick. If you’re not sick, you must be healthy, and vice versa. To me, health is a continuum. No one is 100% sick (we call that dead). No one is 100% healthy without a single flaw. So we’re always somewhere in between. There’s a balance between our tolerance level and the level of our health. Any time that the level of any health problem exceeds the level of our tolerance for it, we experience symptoms. If the health problem gets worse, or if the tolerance level drops (which can be due to fatigue, stress, etc.), we become more aware of the health problem. While it is true that there are some rare deadly diseases for which our immune systems are not prepared, for the most part, illness doesn’t just suddenly occur because of exposure to bacteria or viruses. A truly healthy person won’t suddenly become ill because someone sneezed in their vicinity or they touched some horribly infected doorknob. I always say that when you get sick, you shouldn’t look around to see who shared their germs with you. You look in the mirror and ask yourself why your immune system was weakened. Generally you don’t have to strain your brain coming up with an answer for that one.

Allergies are another area where we see a lot of gray. Many people, if they don’t have an allergy that makes them break out in hives or have their throat close up, think they don’t have allergies. I see an allergy as an incompatibility between the energy of the body and the energy of a substance. That incompatibility may be extreme or it may be minor or anything in between. For some people, it may be a food that they eat every day, which is weakening them, making them tired and more prone to illness, aches and pains. NAET (Nambudripad Allergy Elimination Technique) is a tool we use to help find and treat hidden allergies.

When we’re doing energy work with people and using muscle testing, we can’t really ask about named diseases. The body (or subconscious mind) doesn’t think that way. It’s all about imbalances and interferences. Lab values and other types of measurements that are commonly used in healthcare can be very useful, but we have to remember that the numbers are simply values that we’ve agreed upon – a way for us to draw the line between needing medical treatment for a problem and not needing medical treatment. What’s just right for one person may not be the perfect value for another person. Besides, we need to remember that it’s a continuum. If a value is not where it should be, it doesn’t matter whether it’s crossed an imaginary line or not. It should be addressed (naturally if possible).

Some people, when they get what they feel is a definitive diagnosis, are very relieved. They feel that it’s not so much of a mystery now, which gives them more of a feeling of control. I don’t want to rob anyone of the peace that they get from that, but often it’s just an illusion. The word diagnosis means to know what’s going on inside the body (dia=through, gnosis= to know). In many cases, it’s just a best guess. Even with lab tests, positive exam findings and classic symptomatology, how can we truly KNOW for certain what’s happening in the body? Muscle testing, done properly, can also be effective at getting to the root of the problem.

Then there are those for whom a diagnosis is their downfall, especially when it comes out of the blue or destroys what little hope they were clinging to. I heard of a lady who got her test results back, and based on those results, the doctor gave her six months to live. Sure enough, six months later, she died. Later, they found out that the test results had gotten mixed up with someone else’s. She was fine. She simply died because she believed she would. I can’t say for sure if that’s an urban myth or a real event, but I’ve seen the principle in action many times. Some people get a diagnosis and they fully accept it as part of who they are. They play the part to the max and become far more of a victim of the disease (whether they actually have it or not) than they need to be. My father died of cancer. He was given the diagnosis of malignant brain cancer and was told that he would die in less than a year, which he did. I’ve often wondered if there was a little bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy there. Would he have lived longer if the doctors would have told him that there was a strong chance of pulling through and beating the cancer? I guess we’ll never know in this case.

As much as we’d always like definite, well-understood answers to our health issues, there aren’t many cases when we have such absolute information. I’ve written previously about how complex our bodies are. It’s this complexity that makes it difficult to pin down exact answers. There is always hope however. We do have a lot of good information and we can use muscle testing to find out what imbalances people have to help them overcome health problems. I think the important thing to remember is that the body knows what it’s doing most of the time. It’s smarter than any doctor. Generally the best thing we can do is to remove interferences, give it the nutrients, exercise and so forth that it needs, then get out of the way and let it express good health and happiness.