Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

The Trap of Self-pity

November 27, 2018

I recently had a breakthrough in my life. Through muscle testing and inspiration, it was pointed out to me that I have an issue with self-pity. As I worked on it, I could remember so many times in my life that I’ve felt sorry for myself. I could see how this self-pity was interfering with my life and holding me back. I have partially conquered this issue in my life and am now beginning to see the fruits of it. I don’t believe I’m the only one that has this problem. Self-pity, I believe, is a huge problem for a lot of people in their lives, even though it may not be obvious. The main fruits of self-pity are bitterness, discouragement and depression.Sad pity

Why do we tend to feel sorry for ourselves so much? For some, it could be that they were raised to look at life that way. Perhaps your parents always dwelt on their own problems, or they kept reminding you of your problems. They may have been lovingly expressing sympathy, but inadvertently teaching you to focus on your problems and feel sorrow about them. For others, it could have been the opposite situation. Perhaps no one seemed to care about your problems. You may have felt that the only person you were going to get any sympathy was from yourself. So you learned to feel sorry for yourself. After a while, it was such a normal way of thinking that you became totally unaware of it.

How do we know if we’re feeling sorry for ourselves? Self-pity is an inward-facing emotion. Possible signs include:

  • Moping about or spending a lot of time thinking about your problems and difficult circumstances
  • Repeated or sustained feelings of anger, frustration, depression, resentment or worry about the situation that you’re in
  • Feeling like you’re never good enough or worthy to receive the good things in life that you desire
  • Feelings of inferiority based on your current circumstances
  • Feeling like you just want to give up
  • Dwelling excessively on your own shortcomings and perceived failures

“But Dr. Don,” you say, “my problems are very real! I’ve had terrible things happen to me, many of which were not even my fault! I think I’m entitled to feel sorry for myself. My issues are not self-pity but the horrible crap that I have to put up with!”

You might even say, “I’ve been through a lot. I’ve EARNED the right to be this miserable!”

Perhaps you have. It is certainly not my intention to minimize your problems. We all have issues, from minor annoyances to horrible, gut-wrenching trauma. The question is, do you want to continue to be a victim of the things that have happened to you (or perhaps even the mistakes you’ve made), or do you want to take back control of your life? I’ve known many people who seem to glory in their misery. They want the world to see what a terrible hand they’ve been dealt in life. They want to invite everyone around them to their “pity party”. And again, I’m not making light of their problems. However, wallowing in their misery has become a part of their life.

Keller selfpityIt takes courage to break free of the pattern of self-pity. It takes an open mind and humility to even see the problem. It means taking responsibility for your life and happiness. It can be much easier to blame your circumstances on everything and everyone around you. If you really need to continue wallowing in your misery a while longer, or if you’re not ready to take charge of your situation in life, then stop reading this. Come back when you’re ready. I won’t judge you.

Still with me? Okay. Let’s charge ahead. And that’s much of the solution – KEEP MOVING FORWARD. Half of the solution you may have already accomplished at this point. If a light has just turned on in your head, if you’re starting to realize that you’ve been indulging in self-pity and can see how it’s been holding you back in your life, you’re already halfway there!

I will say this here and now – discouragement is of the devil (the adversary). God will Carnegie selfpityNEVER tell you to give up, stop trying, and just pack it in. Discouragement is one of the first fruits of self-pity. Discouragement makes you just want to give up, to sit down in the middle of the proverbial road and mope in your misery. Once you recognize the patterns of feeling sorry for yourself, then whenever such thoughts come into your mind, you can toss them aside and replace them with “keep moving forward”.

Remember that you can’t steer a parked car.

Does this mean that you stop taking care of your own needs and desires? Definitely not. What do you do when you’re hungry? Do you just plop down in your easy chair and whine about how hungry you are? I hope not! You go get something to eat. If you have nothing to eat, you work on getting some money, or going to the store, or whatever you need to do to get some food. It won’t fill your belly to just sit down and moan about it.

That same principle applies to every other problem in your life. You must focus on the solution, not the problem. Once you acknowledge and understand what the problem is, there’s no need to dwell any further on the problem or how miserable and complicated it’s making your life. Instead, toss aside your negative thoughts and start working on how to solve the problem. If you cannot see any reasonable solution that you can carry out anytime soon, then resolve to have patience. Remember the Prayer of Serenity, which I’ve referenced before –

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.”

This also reminds me of another saying – “Work will win when wishy-washy wishing won’t”. Keep moving forward!

I must also mention here that true clinical depression is often not the result of self-pity. There can be an imbalance or deficiency of certain chemicals in your brain that cause feelings of depression, even when life is going along okay. You can’t just “cheer up”. If this is the case for you, be sure to see your doctor. (I also help some people with this condition using drugless approaches.) In this case, what I’m saying in this post mostly does not apply to you. However, many people with minor clinical depression can needlessly wind up in a downward spiral. In that case, instead of being initially depressed about your situation, you get physically/chemically depressed and then look for reasons to justify your depression. That makes sense. However, as you find the reasons, the depression gets worse because now you have more motivation to be depressed! So in this situation, the above principles DO apply. Maybe you can’t completely shake the depression, but you may be able to control it better so that it doesn’t become disabling.

Share this blog post. I’ve never asked for this before, but I feel the need to get this message out to as many people as possible. Self-pity manifests itself as other emotions. It’s also not something we like to admit to. Therefore, it’s generally overlooked. Since it is the foundation of some of these other emotional issues, it could be why it’s so hard sometimes to correct ongoing feelings of depression, lack of self-worth, discouragement, etc. I may yet write a whole book about this, but for now, I’ll have to settle for this short blog post. My business has picked up so much, I don’t have much time for writing. In the meantime…

LOOK UP! KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

Advertisement

Tags:, , , , , ,
Posted in Energy medicine, happiness, Holistic health, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

The Secret Power of Positivity

March 21, 2018

+++++++ I recently attended another seminar with Kirk Duncan – a very motivational trainer. He spoke about a principle that I’ve known about for a long time but had discounted. Perhaps I didn’t really understand it until now. (I’m still learning about it.) You’ve heard of the saying “garbage in, garbage out” (GIGO). I know that computer programmers used to say that a lot. This applies to everything in life. To put it more broadly, as Kirk was teaching, the type of energy we put into anything will determine the type of results (energy) we get back out.

We’ve known about this principle for a long time in relation to plants. It was discovered a number of years ago that if you play soft, elevating music to plants, they grow better. Many people claim that they’re even affected by the things you say to them. Masaru Emoto used this same principle in his research with water. He wrote a book entitled The Hidden Messages in Water­. In it, he talked about how he would play certain types of music around water. He would then quickly freeze it and look at how the water crystallized. With classical music, it created beautiful even patterns. With hard raucous music (like heavy metal), the ice crystals were very misshapen and disorderly. He got the same kind of results with speech. Gentle affirming words created beautiful crystals, while angry, hateful words created ugly crystals. Writing words on the containers, such as love and hate, did the same thing.

All that is interesting, but it may not make a whole lot of difference in your life. Where it truly makes a difference is with people and situations. In the Bible, it says “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24). Words contain powerful energy. They can be healing or hurtful. What you say cannot be unsaid, even with an apology. Even when you’re joking and the person on the other end knows that you’re joking, negative remarks can be damaging to one’s self-esteem and confidence. It even goes further than that. If you believe in the power of the subconscious mind (as I do), you would realize that even your thoughts about another person have an effect on them. We’re all in contact with each other on an energetic level. But even if you don’t believe that, you must realize that your attitude about another person will come out in your speech toward them, how you look at them, things you do or don’t do for them, etc. You cannot entirely hide your feelings about another person when you’re interacting with them on a regular basis!

But what about the thoughts you think about yourself and your life? Wouldn’t the same rules apply? The type of energy you put in will determine the type of results that you get. You can’t grump your way to success. You can’t complain enough to make your life happy and enjoyable. It doesn’t work that way. If you put in negativity, including fear, doubt, anger, etc., your results will not be what you would like them to be. I’ve written a couple of times about the power of gratitude. Gratitude, faith, love, confidence, etc. will elevate your thinking, open your mind to new possibilities, calm your fears, and drastically improve your chances for success.

Easy, right? Of course not. If your life is humming along and you’re setting and meeting goals and so forth, this kind of thinking may come easier for you. But if you’re depressed and discouraged, if life is not looking at all rosy, if you’re faced with crushing burdens and hardships, how do you turn your thinking around? I’ve listened to lots of motivational speakers who tell me to think a certain way. I keep looking for that little switch in my brain that will change my thinking from negative to positive. I haven’t found it. Have you? I haven’t mastered this, but I’m working on it. I have found that if you start with little things, then you can start to get a handle on it. Kirk Duncan teaches us to say “I manage my emotions; my emotions don’t manage me.” Of course, even he knows that it’s a long process to get to that point. One thing you have to realize is that often times; negative thinking is simply a bad habit. Like any habit, you have to consciously work on changing it, and it takes a lot of practice. Pay attention to your thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, another person, or a situation in your life, quickly replace it with something positive. I’m not saying to be complacent. For example, if you don’t like your job, you don’t have to stick with it for the rest of your life. However, thinking positive thoughts about your job will not lock you into it and it may just make it more enjoyable, which will improve your performance and may lead to a better job.

Remember, positive in = positive out. Negative in = negative out. Whatever you want to grow and improve in your life – your income, your marriage, your performance, whatever – invest positive energy into it and stop putting in negative energy. I believe you’ll be a whole lot happier and successful if you do.

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Energy medicine, happiness, Holistic health, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

I Am Black (sort of)

October 16, 2017

You wouldn’t know it to look at me. My race is Caucasian and my skin doesn’t have much color to it. I don’t have any African-American heritage. And I’m not just black. There are a few other races mixed in there as well.

Let me explain. Thirty years ago, my wife and I adopted a newborn little girl who happened to be African-American. Her skin is the color of fine milk chocolate and her hair is as kinky as kinky can get. We fell in love with her right away. Adopting her ended nine years of failed attempts to have a child naturally. Just five months later, we adopted another baby. This one is half Hispanic. Several years later, we adopted a little boy who is part black, part Pacific Islander. So we have a variety of races in our family.

Shortly after we adopted our first little girl (who is now very tall and beautiful), we experienced a very eye-opening incident. We were walking in a mall on our way to see a movie and a young man started talking to us. I don’t know what his problem was but he started spouting all of these racial slurs against black people. I felt an interesting reaction. I was very offended. Not just for my daughter or for all people of color, but for myself. My daughter had become a part of me. So in a way, I had become part black. So when he was insulting black people, he was insulting me as well! I told him in no uncertain terms that I didn’t appreciate his remarks.

I’ve thought about it many times since. My children are a part of me, even though they aren’t related to me biologically. That makes me part white, part black, part Latino, and part Pacific Islander. But it goes further than that. I believe that everyone on this planet is my brother or sister. That’s not just mushy poetic talk. I believe we’re all children of one Heavenly Father. I believe that spiritually, as well as going way back in genealogy, we’re all related. Everyone of every race is a part of me.

I wasn’t raised to be racist. So I don’t understand racism. I realize that even those who are racist are my brothers and sisters as well. But I just don’t get it. I really thought that the people of the United States had risen above racism. I know there are still individuals who are struggling with it, but I didn’t think that organizations would still rise up against people of other races, like we’re seeing now. I don’t understand how someone would think that they’re better than someone else simply because of the color of their skin or their heritage.

Racism is based on hatred. Whether a person feels that their hatred is justified or not, it’s a very destructive emotion. It not only hurts others, including society itself, it can lead to violence and other destructive actions. And it goes deeper than that. Strong negative emotions, especially hatred, tear us up inside. They rob us of both health and happiness. As a doctor and someone who works with emotions quite a bit, I’ve seen what these emotions can do to people. So it isn’t just about “being nice”. It’s about your own health and well-being. Even if you feel a certain satisfaction in “justifiably” feeling hatred toward someone, it can still be very destructive.

As my wife always says, “everyone just needs to play nice”. Forgiveness and gratitude can bring you much greater happiness than feelings of hatred. We’re all related in some way. So try to feel more love and empathy toward others, including people of other races or ethnic origins.

Tags:, , ,
Posted in happiness, Holistic health, Racism, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Happiness and the “If Only” Syndrome

February 22, 2016

Happy confused babyI’ve written before about how the purpose of life is to have joy and that happiness can be gained in a variety of ways, especially with expressing gratitude. Since we’re all looking for happiness, it’s normal to associate happiness with particular people, places, events, foods, etc. This can sometimes be helpful. When we start to lose our way on the path to joy, they can be an anchor – something we can return to that reminds us of happier times, thus enabling us to re-experience that feeling of happiness. Sometimes however, these associations can be destructive. Perhaps the most common of these are sweet foods. People frequently get into a cycle where they eat to feel happy (comfort foods), but then they gain weight. When they see the weight gain, it causes a degree of sadness and disappointment. So where do they go for comfort? Sweet, fatty foods. Then they get into that downward spiral. I knew another guy who was a clean freak. He would spend so much time cleaning that he would often fall short on other important responsibilities. That would make him feel guilty. How did he deal with the feelings of guilt? Clean some more.

Situations where we frequently and easily return to things that make us feel happy can be destructive, or at least hold us back in life. However, there are often sources of happiness that are not easily attained, which can be just as destructive, if not more so. This is the “if only” syndrome. “If only I could lose weight, I’d feel more attractive, which would make me happier.” “If only I had more money, I would be really happy.” There are two varieties of “if only’s”. One is trying to return to a condition that you used to enjoy. This could be your childhood – a time when you felt safe and secure (if you were fortunate enough to have a wonderful childhood), when you had no debt, no marital issues, etc. It could be a great vacation you had but conditions won’t allow you to do it again at this time in your life. Perhaps it was a time when you were thinner, or had more money, or had a job you really loved, etc. In that situation, you can get stuck in the past. You’re not moving forward because you keep looking back.

The other “if only” is where you’re stuck wishing for a condition that you’ve never experienced. “If only I’d been born into a rich family.” “If only I was married to this other person.” “If only I’d been taller, or thinner, or smarter, or better looking, or more talented, or had the opportunity for better education, etc.” If only, if only, if only. Sometimes people keep wishing for a better condition, and then one day they finally accomplish their dream, only to find that they had their ladder leaning up against the wrong wall, as it were. I’ve known of some people who worked hard to become rich and famous, but then when they reached that point, they found that it did not provide the happiness that they thought it would. Some of these even resulted in suicide. That’s not to say that dreams don’t come true and that those dreams don’t turn out to be everything you hoped for and more. (I’m really not trying to pessimistic here.) Sometimes we can accomplish these “if only’s” and sometimes we can’t. I think that hopes and dreams can be great, as long we don’t lose touch with the opportunities of the present.

I work with a lot of people who get stuck in an “if only” situation. However, since I deal with so many people, I see many contradictions. I see people who are depressed and frustrated because they’re having a hard time losing weight. And yet, I see lots of thin people who are frustrated and depressed. I see people who are really struggling with financial problems. And yet, having money doesn’t prevent all problems. There are rich people who are miserable too, although having money does give you more and better choices. (I actually don’t see this too often. Most people who are successful have already overcome the if-only syndrome.)

Whether we’re linking our happiness to the past or the future, it’s a very risky and frustrating situation. Happiness is a choice. As I talk about in my Emotion Code class, no one can make you happy, sad, angry or anything else. Other people can provide input, but it’s your reaction to it that determines your emotion. There is very little joy except in the present. Even happy memories can hold us back if we get stuck longing for them. Feeling joy in the moment can help us to break free from the if-only syndrome. Tools such as the Emotion Code and ho’oponopono can assist us in that. Happiness (joy) comes from the inside. I believe that it is a gift from God.

As I work with people, I look for trapped emotions that are holding people back — physically, emotionally or in their life’s goals. We can often make a significant difference in their lives as we clear out this excess baggage (whether we do it in the office or remotely). We align the spine to help the nervous system, we balance chakras, and clear up other imbalances that interfere with the full expression of health and happiness.

 

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Chiropractic, Energy medicine, Holistic health, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Causes

January 25, 2016

Chicken vs eggChicken vs. egg – which comes first? Compared to many of life’s pressing questions, that one seems easy. As I’ve studied cause and effect over the years, and as I’ve learned about principles of happiness, success, the law of attraction, etc., I’ve had to change many of my former paradigms. For instance, I’ve always thought that if I could be “successful”, I would then be happier. Now, I’m finding that success is often the result of happiness, not the cause of it. Another one – if I could solve my most pressing problems, I would be at peace. That’s logical, isn’t it? And yet, it appears that the best condition for finding answers to your problems is to be at peace. When you can take a deep breath, have faith, believing an answer will come, and accept the situation for what it is, you allow that peace to come into your mind, which allows inspiration to flow and answers to come. It doesn’t always come right away or like a brick upside the head. It often comes, softly and subtly. That’s how inspiration works.

I’ve written before about the complexity of the mind, body and spirit. We often want so very much to find a simple solution to a complex problem. The fact is that there are often multiple causes all interwoven together. As I work with people, sometimes I get nearly miraculous results. After just a light to moderate amount of treatment, a problem that they’ve been working on correcting for many years (physical, emotional, life problem, etc.) will suddenly disappear! I believe that in many of those cases, what I’ve done is to provide the last essential piece of the puzzle (which might be a big one) that got them over that final hurdle. Most of the results I get with people range somewhere between minimal and miraculous. Where my results seem to be on the minimal side, in spite of a lot of clearing, releasing and correcting, I believe that I just haven’t done enough yet to clear that hurdle where a major difference would be felt by the patient.

In cases where I don’t seem to be making much progress, especially when I confirmed every correction through my muscle testing, did I fail? Were my efforts wasted? Think about things in your own life, where you’ve worked hard to accomplish something but did not get the desired results. Were all of your efforts wasted? Did you learn from them? Did they make you smarter, stronger, wiser? Chances are that they did. When my results have been less than spectacular, I’ve had to remind myself (and sometimes the patient) that everything we accomplished was good. We made positive changes, even when it wasn’t enough to accomplish the goal they had in mind. I was reminded of this principle in a video I saw lately about how bamboo grows. For the first 5 years, you water it, fertilize it and care for it, but you don’t see anything happening. Then suddenly, it starts growing like crazy. It can get to be 60 feet tall in a matter of weeks. In reality, it was growing all that time – under the ground. It creates a thick, complex root system so it can support the tall trunk once it starts growing above ground. If you didn’t understand this, you would most likely give up watering it and caring for it after the first year or two.

What do you do if you’re not sure your bamboo tree is doing anything, so your efforts aren’t entirely being wasted? It’s probably not going to help it grow to dig it up and check on it every few months. You’d probably kill it! So what about other things in our life? How often have we given up just short of accomplishing our goals? Or how many times have we actually been accomplishing a great deal, even when we weren’t seeing the fruits of our labors, at least not the ones pertaining to our desired goals? May I suggest the following?

  • Be at peace with the journey. Positive efforts are never wasted. Either they’re bringing you closer to your goal or you’re at least gaining wisdom and experience that will help you in other endeavors.
  • Be loving, not judgmental, toward yourself. Do your best, but then forgive yourself when you don’t accomplish things just as you would like. Then extend that same loving, forgiving attitude toward those around you, which will bring you greater peace and happiness.
  • Don’t be overly attached to every little outcome. Keep in mind that the purpose of life is to experience joy. Sometimes we don’t see the bigger picture. I’m not suggesting a lazy, “whatever” life devoid of goals or effort. I believe in working hard. However, I’ve learned that it’s important to first accept what is (as opposed to throwing inner tantrums hoping that it will magically change our current circumstances), and then with calm inspiration, work toward achieving and accepting that which we would prefer.
  • Be open to causes and effects that you may not have considered previously. Sometimes we fail to find the answers for which we seek because we have blinded ourselves to them, simply because they don’t fit into the reality that we understand or have been taught.
  • Understand that feelings of love, forgiveness, peace of heart and mind, and faith will attract more good things into your life than huge amounts of stressful work with the wrong attitude. The Emotion Code, tapping, ho’oponono, and other techniques can help to clear out the barriers to clear and peaceful thought.

I wish you joy and happiness in your life – not that everything will go smoothly without any challenges or difficulties (you’d stagnate and never reach your potential in life!), but that you will make the decision to accept joy into your life and align yourself with its principles.

Tags:, , , , , ,
Posted in Energy medicine, Holistic health, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Need and Abundance

August 23, 2015

(Please note: this posting has somewhat of a religious flavor to it, for which I do not apologize. I am a religious person, but this message is not about religion. If you don’t believe in God as I do, feel free to insert the word “universe” or “the universe” wherever you see the word “God”.)

lackOne of the things that has held me back for much of my life was a common, yet devastating, misconception. That is, that the things you need the most will be the things most likely to be provided to you. I believe in a kind and loving God. I believe in fairness. So I frequently operated under the delusion that if I needed something very badly and prayed for it really hard, it would be provided in ample quantity. That is how a lot of good people see it. If you really, really need something, and you’ve done what you can to deserve it, and you ask God to bless you with it, chances are you’ll get it. Right? If you don’t truly need it, he’s less likely to bless you with it. That’s fair, isn’t it?

So it would stand to reason that God would bless the poor with greater abundance and withhold some of his blessings from the rich. And yet, look around, is that what you see happening? Often times, don’t we see the poor getting poorer and the rich getting richer? That hardly seems fair, but when you consider the laws of attraction, it actually makes sense. What people don’t understand is the importance of faith, or even what faith is. The scriptures repeatedly talk about the fact that prayer without faith is not effective. God is not a conservative God with only a limited number of blessings and abundance to impart. Is God limited? Does he not have access to everything in the universe?

I believe in a God of abundance. He has limitless blessings to impart to those who are prepared to receive them. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in this life (one that I’m still trying to master) is that being in a place of NEED actually pushes away the abundance that I would have received if I had more faith. If you ask for something with full faith that you’ll receive it, it feels like you’ve already received it. To be in a place of need and desperation while you’re asking for something, you’re sending out the message saying that you really don’t think you’ll get it. Isn’t that the opposite of faith? If you have a need or a desire that you pray about and you have a firm mindset that it will be granted to you, then that feeling of almost having it sets aside any feelings of need or desperation, thus putting you in the right vibration and state of mind to receive it. I believe that’s the unwavering faith that the scriptures tell us is a prerequisite to obtaining blessings that we’re seeking for.

If you haven’t grown up with that kind of thinking, it can be a difficult transition to make. Even if you see the logic in it, it can be a challenge to apply it when the waters of your life become horribly turbulent and it feels like everything is falling apart. Yet with practice and focusing on correct principles, it can become a part of your life. It can feel like you’re just now planting a garden when you’re already starving to death. Too little, too late to save you from your current catastrophes. And yet, it’s necessary to start the process so that your life doesn’t continue to be a never-ending string of disasters. You may have to start small, but every step that you take in the right direction will help get you out of the hole you’ve dug for yourself.

So how do you get started? Here are some key things that you can start doing now to turn around your thinking and put you in the proper state to receive abundance and joy:

  • Exercise gratitude. Look for things to be grateful for, no matter how small. Think twice as many thoughts of gratitude as you do about things that you lack or are difficult. (Eventually you’ll want to get to the point of never thinking in terms of lack.) Gratitude is the key to joy and attracts abundance.
  • See abundance. Focus on the abundance of the universe and the multitude of blessings that are awaiting you. Avoid the temptation to focus on the lack.
  • Think in terms of what you hope to get, not how terrible things are without them. Feel the feelings of already having the things you want. Focus on the solution, not the problem.

If you work on making these things a regular part of your life and the way that you think, you will see positive changes in your life. They take practice, and sometimes they take time. Remember that you can’t harvest a garden this afternoon that you just planted this morning. Even still, it’s very important that you think in terms of having the blessings now, not in the future. Otherwise, it will stay in the future and always out of reach. Think in terms of the blessing being on its way to you right now. You may not know exactly when it will arrive, but it’s coming. So you can feel the joy and anticiabundancepation almost as if it were on your doorstep right now. There is only such a thing as now as far as the universe is concerned. We operate in a world of time though. So some patience is often required.

The purpose of life is to experience joy. Joy is not just feeling good or having fun. It comes from wisdom gained through experience, even harsh ones. It comes from gratitude – for all you’ve been given, even unpleasant experiences. It comes from a decision to be happy – as opposed to being a victim of whatever circumstances life hands you. It comes from loving and receiving love. It comes from seeing the universe as abundant and giving. Lastly, it comes from aligning your life with principles of joy and happiness.

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Living Joyfully without Complacency

April 7, 2015

complacencyThere’s a very fine, almost imperceptible line between being happy with what you have and being too complacent to strive for more, between being grateful for the blessings you’ve been given (without griping about what you don’t have) and being satisfied with where you are now with no goals for improving your situation. Yet the difference that it brings to your life from being in one state vs. the other is huge. It’s a matter of happiness and joy vs. misery and bitterness. It’s a matter of progression vs. stagnation, and attracting good into your life vs. not attracting good things into your life.

As I’ve studied principles of success and happiness, I’ve come to realize that gratitude is one of the biggest keys to happiness in life. It’s also an important factor in the law of attraction, in terms of attracting good things. It can be confusing at first. It seems almost contradictory to be told that if you want more of something, you should first be grateful for what you have. In order to progress, I’ve always thought that you first needed to be dissatisfied with your current circumstances. Dissatisfaction and gratitude don’t seem to go together. If you’re happy where you’re at, you might as well stay where you’re at. Right? If you’re miserable in your current situation, if you feel like you’ve gotten a raw deal, if life stinks, then you’re primed and ready for a change in a better direction. Right? The misery will motivate you to get off your tuckus and make a better life for yourself. Right? That’s pretty much what I’ve always been taught. However, that’s where I was getting messed up. I think it’s affecting a lot of other people also.

As I look back on my own life and witnessing the situations of others, I can’t recall ever seeing a situation where griping and complaining and feelings of bitterness actually led to an improvement in someone’s life. Generally, it assured that they would NOT progress. Why is that? Because they were not putting themselves into a state (frequency, vibration, attitude) in which they could attract and receive improved circumstances. Although they were wanting life to improve, sometimes desperately, their thoughts, words and emotions were in opposition to the improvement that they were wanting. (I know – I’ve been there.)

So, if you’re not griping and complaining about how life is, and you should be grateful for what you already have, isn’t that the same thing as complacency? Not necessarily. Perhaps you do have all that you desire, but the important thing here is the attitude. If you’re feeling complacent, is it due to the fact that you’ve achieved all you have ever wanted and now you just want to coast a bit, or is it because you’ve given up, because you don’t believe that your goals are reachable or you’re incapable of reaching them? Frankly, I believe that there are very few people who are both successful and complacent and are not on a downward slide. Complacency leads to laziness, which leads to failure.

How does one strike a proper balance between being happy and grateful for one’s current circumstances and healthy ambition? I try to look at the bigger picture. What I have encompasses what I’ve received in the past, what I am now receiving and what I will receive in the future (blessings with my name on them that are on their way, some of them years out). Every day, I express gratitude for all of these blessings. I am grateful for what I have achieved and what I will yet achieve. I strive to avoid dissatisfaction with my current situation. Rather, I appreciate the path that I’m on. There is great striving to accomplish more and greater things and to attract greater abundance in all aspects of my life. I know that I have to do my part to prepare for and receive the higher level of blessings that are intended for me.

Happiness cannot depend on some future outcome. Happiness is a choice. Choose it today and enjoy the journey!

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Energy medicine | 1 Comment »

Who Are You?

July 12, 2014

family2Who are you, really? Are you a unique individual? Of course you are. I believe that each of us is one-of-a-kind. There is not, nor has there ever been, anyone exactly like any one of us. Even identical twins are not entirely identical in their knowledge, their tastes, etc. And yet, we were not formed from nothing. We did not come into this life as a blank slate or an empty life form which then our parents, and later ourselves, created into the person we are today. Our DNA, our blueprint if you will, is a composite, or a unique combination, of attributes that have been passed along to us through our parents, which were passed along to them by their progenitors. This, of course, gives us our hair color, our eye color, our height, our bone structure, and so forth. But are our physical characteristics all that we inherited? I don’t think so.

Identity, that sense of who we are, is an essential characteristic for every one of us. Without a good grasp of that, we feel lost. I believe that it helps us to know how we got to where we are. We really need to take responsibility for what we make of our lives. A victim mentality is extremely non-productive and leads to stagnation and misery. So in reviewing this topic, it is not my purpose to give us excuses for not doing our best, and especially not to just give up and give in to our weaknesses. Some people say, “That’s just the way I am. Deal with it!” We all have free will and some control over what we make of ourselves. The information that I’m providing here should give you more of a sense of control over your life by helping you understand not only your physical roots, but your emotional heritage as well.

Any parent will tell you that their children did not come to them as a lump of clay that they could just mold into whatever they wanted them to become. Every child, as soon as they’re able to walk and talk and express themselves freely, demonstrates a unique personality that cannot be entirely attributed to the parent’s upbringing. Where does this come from? If the child seems to arrive on the scene with some pre-existing attributes, it should be clear that not every aspect of their personality came directly from their parents. The following are some possibilities for sources of our personality traits.

1 – Transgenerational epigenetic inheritance. That’s a fancy term for inheriting personality traits, emotions and perhaps even some memories from your parents and ancestors via your DNA. Epigenetics is an exciting branch of science that maintains that our genetic make-up can be altered by our diet, emotions, etc. I believe this is true. I don’t think our genetic blueprint is written in unalterable stone as once thought. So this term refers to imprinting onto genes, which then is passed along to the progeny. Could our parents’ knowledge and understanding of a particular subject make it easier for us to learn that subject? Possibly. I’ve read a couple of studies with mice that indicate that could be the case.

All of my children are adopted. We got both of my daughters straight from the hospital. Neither of them spent more than a day or two with their birth mothers. And yet both of them grew up to have some problems and weaknesses that were very similar to their respective birth mothers, even though they were in direct conflict to how we raised them. It’s the old “nature vs. nurture” question. To a certain extent, they were who they were, no matter how we raised them.

2 – Inherited emotions. I’ve talked about the Emotion Code in previous postings. That technique, along with other forms of energy work, tells us that trapped emotions can be passed along from parent to child at the point of conception. Trapped emotions are bits of energy that are acquired when an emotion has not been fully processed and released. This energy can be passed along with the sperm and the egg. In my work, I often find and release inherited trapped emotions. Trapped emotions can affect us both physically and emotionally. Since each emotion has its own frequency or vibration, they can affect how we feel, which in turn can affect our actions. So to a certain extent, inherited trapped emotions can help to shape who we are.

3 – Previous life. I believe that we lived as spirit children of God before coming into this mortal existence. Whether you believe in a pre-existence or reincarnation, it’s clear to many of us that we experienced a great deal before we came into our current physical state. Although we have no clear memory of this prior existence, it leaves its mark on us. I do sometimes find and release emotions that were trapped before this earth life, which were carried by our spirit into our physical body.

4 – Collective consciousness. There is a wide range of opinions and definitions of this. Some look at it simply as the norms and attitudes of society and how we are affected by them. This is certainly a factor in who we are. Some people see it as an actual shared consciousness; as if we’re not really individuals, especially after we die. That seems a little extreme to me. However, I do believe that “no man is an island”. I believe we’re all connected. I believe your thoughts and actions, in some small inexplicable way, have some affect on me and vice versa. I can’t prove it, I can’t really explain it and yet I sense that it’s true. I put it out there as food for thought. Like it or not, we are a part of each other. My oldest daughter is African-American, whereas I am Caucasian. As my adopted daughter, she has become part of me. Therefore, I am partly African-American. One time when she was a baby, we heard a young man making racial slurs against black people. My daughter wasn’t present and he didn’t know we had an African-American daughter. I felt great offense at his remarks. What was interesting though is that I didn’t feel defensive for my daughter’s sake, but I felt that he was offending me personally. As I thought about it later in light of how we’re all part of the human family of earth and how we’re all connected in some way, I realized that I’m also part Oriental, part Hispanic, and part everything else. You are a part of me and I am a part of you.

So as we consider our identity – who we really are inside, we realize that it is a conglomeration of our upbringing, our choices, what has happened to us, our relationships, what we inherited and picked up from others, and even choices we may have made before this life. Yet I still believe that we are not victims of all that, even though some of it may represent major hurdles in our life. We have the power to choose. Our thoughts, actions and emotions that we are experiencing right now will help to shape not only our life, but that of our descendents and those who are close to us.

Tags:, , , , ,
Posted in Energy medicine, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Thinking Like A Winner

April 5, 2014

Mental PowerSuccess, in any area of your life, is 90% mental/emotional and 10% physical action. That’s my experience at least. In a football game, I think that the pep talk beforehand can be as important as the practices and scrimmages. The game must first be won in the head before it can be won on the field. Can you imagine a boxer being interviewed before a big bout saying, “I really think I’m going to get creamed but by golly, I’m going to go in and do my best”? I had a young rugby player in my office the other day who was saying that they were going up against a team that they had no real chance of beating. I told him that if he thought that way, they’ve already lost the game. I loved to watch the skiers in the winter Olympics before making their run. You’d see them going through the course perfectly in their head. They weren’t thinking about falling or missing turns. They were seeing themselves doing the best run of their life. In this instance, I’m referring to the champions. Those who gave into fear and doubt didn’t do so well.

It’s much easier to see these examples in the sports world. But most of us aren’t professional athletes. Our games are much more subtle and complex. The principles can be applied in a very similar manner however. Occasionally, we’re surprised by outcomes. We lose when we think we’re going to win, or we just happen to win when we were sure we would lose. For the most part though, things turn out pretty close to what we expect. If we don’t win the game first in our own mind, then it’s far less likely that we’ll win in real life.

How do you get to that point? Maybe you’re good at visualizing successful outcomes. However, if you’re like many people who have experienced plenty of failure, especially in a certain area of your life that you’re trying to turn around (finances, relationships, health, etc.), clearly picturing yourself winning where you have previously failed can be extremely difficult. In many cases, it’s very difficult to do it without help. There are a number of techniques that professionals use to help you change your mindset, such as EFT (tapping), Emotion Code, RPT (reference point therapy), EVOX, hypnosis, etc.

There are also coaches that can help you. In my profession as a chiropractor, I’ve worked with a number of practice management consultants. The problem is that with some people who are really successful in their profession, they don’t really have a clear understanding of how they got there. It may have come very naturally to them and so they never had to consciously work to achieve success. I don’t mean that they didn’t work hard to get where they are. Most of them did. But then they get the idea that if they can teach others to walk like them, talk like them, and act like them, other people should have no trouble achieving the same level of success that they did. The problem with that is that, as I pointed out earlier, success is 90% mental/emotional. So even if you are able to learn to walk and talk and act like the people you admire, chances are you will not achieve the type of success that they have until you learn to THINK like they do. Generally speaking, you don’t get to where you can think like a winner by winning. Instead it’s the other way around. You become a winner because you learn to think like a winner. There are many self-help books out there that can help you with this. I especially like the ones by Leslie Householder. It’s also very helpful to rid yourself of some of your old emotional baggage by using one or more of the techniques mentioned in the last paragraph.

Put yourself in a vibration to receive success (the good things that you want to attain or achieve in your life that will help to bring you joy). Focus on your goals, not on your trials. Remove as many roadblocks as possible. Learn from those who have attained success, especially those who struggled to get to that point. Apply these principles to every area of your life, including your physical, mental and emotional health. Live your life with joy.

Tags:, , , , , , , ,
Posted in Chiropractic, Energy medicine | Leave a Comment »